i think i'm only a second lower honours student

i checked my degree audit, checked my GPA till now. guess what? i got no slim chances of getting a second upper honours. for the past three semesters, cleared 61 AUs, got a total of 214 points for the 61 AUs, which translates to about 3.508 for my current GPA. i still have 47 AUs to clear, which includes this semester. i S/U-ed a 4-AU module this sem, so that makes 43 AUs left that counts toward my GPA. in order to get a second upper honours, GPA has to be 4.0 at least. lets say i use up all of my S/U options, that makes 35 AUs to my GPA left. for the 35 AUs, i need to get average ~4.857 points. WOW! if i dun exercise anymore S/U options, i need to achieve average ~4.698 points. wow! that means i gotta get all As for my modules. if i very garang, take many more modules than i need, say, i take 50 AUs, including this sem(already excluded S/U-ed module), i need to hit 4.6 points on average. the more garang i am, the more AUs i take, the lower the average points i need to get.

i am no garang student. i most probably will exercise most of my S/U AUs. i think i won't put in that much time and effort to work so hard to get straight As for the rest of my modules.

CONCLUSION: I am no first class honours student, neither am I a second upper class honours student. I am a second lower class student at best, at least for my current degree. I will try to work hard to get my second lower class honours!

swimming is good!

went swimming this morning with my bro and zhijin. went swimming on sunday too, but today's swim was really tiring. think i swam much more today than on sunday ba. then there was a very nice uncle, uncle nelson, who taught us how to swim using the proper technique too!! he was very patient while teaching us the strokes, and it's only now that i sorta know the proper technique!! haha.. quite fun. still need a lot of practice la. not used to the correct technique yet. lol. too used to my own swimming "techniques".

after a satisfying swim, went for lunch at 800++ there, which got the $1 chicken rice one. yeah it's cheap la, but it's not nice one. the milo also not nice, so diluted. the char kway teow also not very nice. and the western food stall bluff money one. $1.50 fries so little only. but the ba chor mee stall the dumpling soup is good. the soup is like the 85 market ba chor mee soup. think that's the only thing nice we had there la. ahh.. the rest.. quite CMI.

and we were saying, enjoying life should be something like this, at least at this point of our lives: go for a swim in the morning, then go lunch, after lunch, go bowling la, play pool/billiard, enjoy some recreational activities, then dinner, blah blah. with friends of course. wa, my kind of good life. hahaha... no work, no worries. just enjoy life. enjoy exercise, enjoy friends and family around, eat good food, do what i like(bowling la, billiard la, too many to list). woohoo. i wonder when can i have that kind of life.

just now shoufu jio-ed me go learn breakdance from the bboys at esplanade there. he said his senior learnt breakdancing from the pple there one. hmm.. after exams, see when got time go see see look look. but i 14th start attachment liao. not much time to learn lehz.. oh well.. see how it goes. woo... breakdancing..

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to Yujie, and myself too!! wow it's already a year since i got baptised. it's amazing. last year i got baptised, and this year i helped jinhao get baptised! cool. hahaha...

well i must say the past year has been very happening. so many things have happened. good things, bad things, a lot. but God is faithful and loving, and has seen me through both good and bad times. and He gave me a most wonderful birthday present yesterday too! hahaha.. refer to my previous entry to see what it is. something money cannot buy! i can't wait to see all my friends be fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters in church. must work hard at bringing them to church!! to join in the church's events and activities! woohoo!!!

well, to all my friends, i won't deny that i do wish that you'll become a Christian, cos it's the most wonderful thing that has happened to me. if i invite you to my church or any activities with my church friends, though i do hope you will one day believe in Jesus, i won't be forcing you to do anything against your wishes. really, going to church doesn't mean you must be a Christian. i just really hope to be able to spend more time with you, together with my church's friends. you can take it as knowing more friends too. no stress, no pressure, no worries bout converting to Christianity or anything. i just hope you can join in our activities, for fun, to get to know more people, for friendship. you can see for yourself what i'm so busy with in church also. hahaha...

I'm happy today!!

oh i'm so happy today!! Praise the Lord!!!

you know, i've been so busy with church events, programmes and stuff, i hardly have time to meet my friends anymore. well, they're busy with their own work and studies as well la, but i always felt that ever since i started involving myself more with church ministry and stuff, i've been neglecting my good friends, like weiquan, wanyi, bingbing, ceci, yy, yuneng, chunghang, hanwei, clement, yonghe, xinyi, qiuling... the list goes on. having become so involved in church, it's hard to find time during weekends to go out with them or anything, and weekdays are always busy with school or work for everyone. so often, i wished that my friends can get to know my church friends. i so so so much look forward to the day when my these good buddies can get to know my church brothers and sisters, have fellowship together. and praise the Lord!! today, He fulfilled my prayers!! i invited wanyi to join my church friends and i for badminton, and she came to join us!! WOW!! i was so excited when she agreed to come!!

and today, it really felt great! one thing, it's really nice to meet good old friends again. and the most exciting thing was to see her chatting with my church brothers and sisters!! wanyi is very friendly by nature la, so she can mingle around quite easily, and i'm so happy about it!! after a few games of doubles, she played single with pastor, and i was just at the side looking. i was so happy. this is what i had visioned for months, years even. and i told God, You're so so so good. i am so touched by the work He has done. i was so touched and happy i almost felt like crying.

this morning's sermon had a part talking about spreading the gospel to people close to us. i felt so reprimanded, i cried, i asked God for His forgiveness, for me being so passive in spreading the gospel to my friends, my relatives, my aunt who brought me up. well, bringing wanyi to get to know some of the people in my church is a good start i guess. i must work hard! i want to see all of them in heaven together one day!!

man, i'm really bad at HTML and stuff

goodness, i spent a couple of hours figuring out how to make the media player work with a selection list, something what i've done at my music section. this is what happens when you know nuts, and trying to figure out the coding stuff from existing samples. had to trial and error, that's y it took me so long to accomplish something so simple. man, had to search a lot for the sample i can use to edit. lol. tough working out the param stuff.

it's weird though, the newer media player object(media player 7 & above) cannot work with the selection list, but the older one(media player 6.4) can. hmm.. so for now, i'll just put the two versions of the media player object. hahaha.. well, the newer one seems to be able to stream better. lol.

how sia. know practically nuts bout HTML, javascript, and all the web design stuff. and i'm supposed to be doing web design stuff for my attachment!! my goodness...

oh man... time to get back to work!!! ahh.. erm.. late already.. time to sleep...

o.O haven hit 12am yet. Happy Birthday to Bingbing, Zhenling and Qiqin!!

email

FROM: EDF reminder
SENT: Tuesday, April 10, 2007 11:02 AM
SUBJECT: FREE_SUBJECT

Mr GOH CHIN HUA, Deferment application, transaction ID W200703260559 is
successful. For more information, call 1800-eNSNSNS (3676767) or visit
www.ns.sg.

---

i almost deleted the mail. the only reason i did not delete the mail without second thought is that i had received an sms from EDF earlier, telling me the same thing. hmm.. what is EDF? my deferment has to go through DSTA? couldn't they come up with a better subject line than "FREE_SUBJECT"?? somebody gotta teach them how to put effective subject lines. they should go and take AB214. lol.

whatever. i'm happy.

woohoo~~ no need go back for reservist!! no ICT!! woot!!

ok... at least don't have for this holiday June. no holiday. only attachment...

satisfied with myself!

oh man i feel so productive today!! i sort of completed my java programming assignment in a day!!! though i started a couple of days back, i didn't really do any programming. only coded in the method headers, class headers and stuff, and only started to do real coding only today. after class today(ab214 presentation. think it went ok..), went back to my room, worshipping God on my guitar a little, and suddenly felt like composing a song, so was trying out some chords... still long way to go to compose a full song. oh well. then read another chapter from boy meets girl, then i felt so tired, so i took a nap. wahaha.. woke up at 1530, and started working on my assignment. kept working and working, chatting abit here and there on msn, until now! wow! basically almost everything to do with coding is all done le!! Praise the Lord! it seems like a miracle to me. not much errors, not much to debug. cool!! programming never felt so relaxing! hahaha... previously still thinking if i can finish on time or not. oh God is sooo good!! should be able to wrap up everything tomorrow, and then the rest of the week i can use my time to prepare for word on saturday during cell, and maybe prepare for the worship on the 22nd. woohoo!!
saturday cell i wanna talk about BGR. must prepare my stuff well. *prays for wisdom*

oh.. erm.. still got the java quiz tomorrow.. oh well, working on the assignment can be considered revision ba. hahaha.. God is in control! whee~

专属天使

作词:施人诚
作曲:tank
编曲:吕绍淳

我不会怪你对我的伪装
天使在人间是该藏好翅膀
人们愚蠢鲁莽而你纤细善良
怎能让你为了我被碰伤

小小的手掌厚厚的温暖
你总能平复我不安的夜晚
不敢想的梦想透过你的眼光
我才看见它原来在前方

*没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

小小的手掌大大的力量
我一定也会像你一样飞翔
你想去的地方就是我的方向
有我保护笑容尽管灿烂

喔要不是你出现
我一定还在沉睡
哦绝望的以为生命只有黑夜

---

heard this song on friday when go ktv with ziting they all, ziting picked this song. think previously got hear before, and i quite like it. then yesterday on the way home, someone was playing the song on his hp too, then i asked sunmei what song was it. she told me 天使, think by 五月天 or 信乐团, which i both knew confirm is not. lol. firstly, i know 五月天's 天使, then 信乐团's style is not like this song one lo. well, i remembered at the ktv the song was some song of 花样少年少女 one, so i searched and found it! yeah, found another song that i like. hahaha... hmm.. seems the songs i like are all about 天使 one. lol. well, at least for now. waha.

Happy Belated Good Friday!

ohhh forgot to wish all of you Happy Good Friday yesterday!!

yesterday, spent the morning to afternoon working on my java programming assignment. man, in a rush now. gotta submit it next friday, and there's still lots to be done!! i just hope i don't need to spend too much time debugging my code.

well, programming is pretty unnerving, so i thought i shall take a break. and i went to join huihui, shuiting, ziting and jinhao for ktv. reached there at bout 4pm, which by that time, they had already sang for two hours. haiyo, then they very funny one lo, pick alot of songs, but in the end dun wan to sing, ask me to sing. lol. ok lo. i sing lo. good practice anyway. haha.. yeah and i picked quite a few harder-to-sing songs, as in, need to hit until quite high one. wa, i realised my stamina really bad la. after like bout 10+ songs, already lau hong (漏风), can hardly hit the high parts of the songs le. my 假音 is cannot make it one. the songs i sang started to go zao siah (跑声?). lol. wa, cannot make it la. need a lot a lot a lot of practice!! need a lot a lot a lot of training to push my vocal range to higher limits!! wa and then by the time we finish singing, which is at 7pm, my stomach muscles like going to cramp like that. LOL. stamina really CMI. -_-"

haha.. though i very CMI, but i enjoyed singing. very good practice. should go ktv more often. next time must go with huili, then can ask her teach me how to sing. wahahha.. hmm.. but then.. the $$$lui/money/钱$$$ problem. hmm hmm...

watch this!

oh oh, almost forgot to add in this entry. yeah i was saying that i was very pissed off yesterday, so i went around my friends' blogs looking for something to relieve myself of all the anger and negative emotions. came across this rap at fabbie's blog. wahahah.. i think it's damn funny la. lol. i kept playing it over and over again, and kept laughing and laughing. hahaha.. yeah it really took away all the anger and frustration that i had. the starting how the rapper said the words, the way she sounds, damn funny la. hahaha...

Warning: this entry contains scenes of explicit violence and gore

Warning has been given. proceed to see at your own risk. ok maybe you're already looking at the image. whatever.

This is what happens to programmers when they are trying to finish up their programs. I'm currently working on a programming assignment. i just hope i won't ever end up like that...


*image taken from pw's blog*
i think i am a sadist. it... is.. funny to me. i was laughing at it.

anyway, yesterday i was very angry and pissed off with my hall's internet connectivity. i could not attach files to my mails to send out. pages take forever to load. i reached my limit. i couldn't stand it anymore, not when the problem has been there for weeks!! i sent out a complaint mail to CITS(centre of IT services), my hall office and my JCRC(junior common room committee) president. i sounded pretty aggressive, with generous use of caps. they better start getting to work, or i'm gonna make them out of work. wahahahahhahaahhahahahah... ok, i'm going nuts.. at some point of time, i felt like banging my hands on my keyboard... yeah like how the little guy is doing... hmm hmm...

down with flu..

arrgh.. y am i so weak. like always fall sick like that. down with flu again. the very bad flu, where nose keep running. wa, really bad la. it's so bad that i'm feeling giddy, feeling so tired and restless. cannot think properly anymore man. must take care of myself. drink lots of water, get plenty of rest.

the feeling sucks. just walking abit makes me pant. i think it's really BAD. i can feel the cough and fever coming soon. heal me O, Lord!!

oh yeah, i'm so happy that Jinhao can finally get baptised this coming sunday!! though it means i need to go down into the water, but i'm glad about it!! Praise the Lord!! last year i was the one getting baptised. this year i'm the one helping others be baptised!! wow!!

ahh... but i still have so much on my mind. feelings are such... troublesome things. lol. ok, maybe cos my feelings always come at the wrong time. oh well. God has His timing i guess. I just have to wait. i duno how long i can wait though. sometimes i just wish God will take these feelings away. it seems there are many years i have to wait, but can i really hold out till the end? maybe it'll die out in a year's time? experts say that such feelings normally last for two years on average, afterwhich it sort of dies out. based on past experiences, yeah it takes bout two and a half years to get over such feelings for me. maybe it'll just fade away when i'm waiting. i'm not exactly sad or what over this possibility. if it is His plan, no matter what, it'll still be there. i just feel like i'm wasting time thinking so much bout such things now. i don't like this. i don't wanna be like this anymore.

what is your plan for me, Father? would You show me the way? would You take it away, if it is not from You, please?

是盐，是光

yesterday's sermon by 寇牧师 was very good. many times i've read that i am the salt and light of the world, but i never gave it much thought on what it means to be the salt and light of the world.

the sermon gave me new insights on what it meant to be the salt and light of the world. salt has many uses, two of which are to add flavour and to preserve food. if salt is to lose its flavour, what use is of it? it has no more uses anymore. as a Christian, as the salt in the community i'm living in, am i adding flavour to it? flavour not as in more exciting or what, but the influence and effect i have on the people around me. do i have the spiritual influence on the people around me? if i do not, then i am like salt that has lost its flavour. with or without me, the community i live in will still be the same, spiritually. in the community that i live in, is there less decomposition, as in, less corruption, less immoral deeds? salt preserves and prevents decomposition. am i fulfilling that?

what of the light of the world? am i shining brightly to cast away the darkness that shrouds the people around me? or am i the light that is hidden under the bowl? what am i doing to let the light in me shine through the darkness?

the message spoke deeply to me. indeed, i wonder if i have any spiritual influence at all. it scares me so much to think that i am like the salt that has lost its flavour. i am.. just a Christian that has no influence, no effect on the people around me? with or without me, it is the same? am i standing up for God, or am i part of the culture that is not right, doing the wrong things?

what have i done to let the light shine? it seems i have done nothing. i am only looking at myself from the inside of the bowl, thinking that, "wow, it's so bright! i'm such a good Christian!!" i never looked beyond the inside of the bowl. i'm only indulging in my own "righteousness". yeah so what if i'm not gambling, not drinking, not indulging in the vices of the world? i have NOT done anything to help the people around me break free from the bondages of the world!!

i'm so so so disgusted at myself. how could i have been like this? how much have i been shortchanging God and His kingdom, all the while when i was thinking i was a good Christian. i could not bear that thought, i broke down in tears before God. i pray that You will forgive me, Lord. i pray that You will help me, Lord, to be the salt and light of the world.