down with flu..

arrgh.. y am i so weak. like always fall sick like that. down with flu again. the very bad flu, where nose keep running. wa, really bad la. it's so bad that i'm feeling giddy, feeling so tired and restless. cannot think properly anymore man. must take care of myself. drink lots of water, get plenty of rest.

the feeling sucks. just walking abit makes me pant. i think it's really BAD. i can feel the cough and fever coming soon. heal me O, Lord!!

oh yeah, i'm so happy that Jinhao can finally get baptised this coming sunday!! though it means i need to go down into the water, but i'm glad about it!! Praise the Lord!! last year i was the one getting baptised. this year i'm the one helping others be baptised!! wow!!

ahh... but i still have so much on my mind. feelings are such... troublesome things. lol. ok, maybe cos my feelings always come at the wrong time. oh well. God has His timing i guess. I just have to wait. i duno how long i can wait though. sometimes i just wish God will take these feelings away. it seems there are many years i have to wait, but can i really hold out till the end? maybe it'll die out in a year's time? experts say that such feelings normally last for two years on average, afterwhich it sort of dies out. based on past experiences, yeah it takes bout two and a half years to get over such feelings for me. maybe it'll just fade away when i'm waiting. i'm not exactly sad or what over this possibility. if it is His plan, no matter what, it'll still be there. i just feel like i'm wasting time thinking so much bout such things now. i don't like this. i don't wanna be like this anymore.

what is your plan for me, Father? would You show me the way? would You take it away, if it is not from You, please?