小妹，生日快乐！

Happy Birthday 小妹! heeh. 16 liao ah. must start to lead the younger ones le wor. lol. cannot just do as you like liao hor. this year 'O' levels, must work hard for it ok! you very smart de, must have confidence in yourself, and in God! God will definitely help you get good grades also de, if you believe in Him! May your relationship with God grow stronger with each passing day too! :)

haha.. and today such a coincidence. ran into you and cheryl on the bus! lol. really surprised. so i got to wish you happy birthday face to face also. lols. but present already give you yesterday liao. haha.. hope you enjoyed your birthday today. heeh. eh.. hope my present does help you in some way la. lol. hopefully it helps you generate an interest in reading. LOL. reading is good. ok, need to see what type of books also la. haha.. but having an interest to read is the first step. hope the books i gave you helps you to take that first step. then from there, read other books, and can help you to get to know God more other than reading the Bible! there're some really good books out there that helps us know God deeper! hahaha.. first on your wishlist: closer relationship with HIM! ya. so, jiayou ah!

ughh.. and i'm falling sick. yesterday start to feel that my throat very dry le. and normally when that happens, it probably means i'm going to fall sick badly very soon. and true enough, this morning i woke up with a flu. just now could feel that fever might be coming in soon too. ughh.. i'd better grab some sleep soon. having enough rest will help boost my immune system against these viruses!

and once again, Happy 16th Birthday, 小妹! :D

believe.. and you can be the "dragon warrior"

just watched kung fu panda today. haha.. yeah it's a funny show alright. had a few good laughs. lol. one part of the show, the conversation between master wugui and master shifu kinda shook me. master wugui was telling master shifu to believe that po (the panda) is the dragon warrior, the one that will save the day, though po is the furthest thing from what one will expect from a dragon warrior. believe. not by our own understanding. it probed me to think further. likewise, i need to believe. not by my own understanding, but by God's. believe in God, though circumstances now may seem to be the furthest thing from what i need to believe in. but really, to believe and have faith that what God has told me, He will let it come to fruition when the time comes. like we can plant the seed, but we can't control the time the tree grows, the time it bears fruit. when the time comes, the fruit will come forth. so now again. the word is..

wait.

zzZzZz...

man, while waiting for some files to be copied to my thumbdrive, might as well blog something. hmm.. it's been a week+ since my birthday, and it's only today that i received my first present? hmm.. kinda sad huh. anyway, thanks michelle! think tmr i'll be getting my second present from lingling ba. haha.. i guess, that's all i'll be getting this year. quite sad huh, this year. it really seems that nobody cares much. oh well. there are good times and bad times. sometimes i wonder if i'm screwing up all the relationships with people around me. hmm.. well at the very least, i think i didn't screw up any worse my relationship with God, the most important relationship.

been reading quite a bit recently. finished two books. one on spiritual leadership, the other on selecting your life partner. the next one probably will be the book lingling giving me. while reading the book on selecting my life partner, as i read the book, it sort of came upon me that, it's so so so hard to really find someone that suits me very well, someone that meets my requirements in a life partner. it even seems impossible? haha.. according to the principles in the book la. and i started listing down some of the things i look out for in a life partner. that time zhang shi mu also shared on this, writing down a list of things you want in a life partner. then cuixian jie told me to do the same, and sunmei also. well, the single most most MOST important thing i look out for, is that, that person has to love God with all her heart, her strength, her soul. yeah. love God so so much. willing to sacrifice for God. ya. there's a lot more into this single requirement la. i truly want my relationship with my partner, my marriage with my wife, to be firmly based upon Jesus. and based on this single most important requirement alone.. haha.. erm.. it seems that there's nobody suitable that i know already. lol. not even to say the rest of the requirements. but i really wonder, will i really meet this person of my dreams? that fulfills all my requirements? and i love her, and she loves me too? and i meet her requirements too? wow. i think it's so impossible, that if it really happens, it's nothing short of a miracle from God. haha. and how amazing it'll be when i find that person! the most fulfilling relationship, other than with God, is that with your spouse. and i really look forward to it. haha.. maybe too much. ya. too much. way too much. lol. i really can't imagine the day i realise the person is in my life. the excitement. the happiness. wow. and the day when i get married with this person. i'm so excited and happy just thinking about it now. ahahha.. but i wonder, how long do i have to wait for this person to appear? has she already appeared in my life? maybe she has, but the time is not right yet? maybe i'm not ready yet? maybe she's not ready yet? hmm.. i just hope the waiting time isn't too long. haha.. but oh well, God has His divine timing. but really, i can't wait to meet this person. meet every of my requirements!? is that really possible? haha.. i know with God it is. :)

the call

The Call
Regina Spektor
The Chronicles of Narnia - Prince Caspian Soundtrack

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

turning 24...

turning 24 in a few more hours. hmm.. how will this year's birthday be? seriously, i'm not putting much hopes for a dynamic and exciting birthday. haha.. morning need to go help my cousin do some stuff, probably stretch till afternoon, then rush home, get ready go check-in for cell chalet. things probably will be quite hectic? lol. the boys can be a handful. i hope the older ones don't add to it. hahaha.. no la. i'm sure they'll help to keep them under control. hee..

hmm.. somehow, i think i'm feeling what eunice was feeling that time, that nobody cared bout her birthday? but God is wonderful. God turned it into a pleasant surprise for her, and made her birthday special once again. what will there be in store for me tomorrow, if any? no. no cream on me please. no pranks on me.

last year, i remember i organised an outing myself, if my memory serves me well. oh it wasn't too bad. 小妹 was there, sunmei, zhijin, weicong, ziting, yihong, jiajun, bingwen, jiahui.. ok i can't remember who else. not sure if i got it correct not. lol. sorry. anyway, we went east coast for dinner, then 小妹 they all went to set up a "surprise" for me. haha.. they bought those sparklers, buried the present they got for me, made a heart shape on the sand around it, perimetered the heart shape with the sparklers. it's nice. heeh. quite heart warming. and they got a pandan cake for me too. and jiajun and bingwen bought a present for me! haha.. the present is still sitting beside me now. well taken care of. ya. that was last year. felt very loved by my dear cell members.

hmm.. i wonder who'll remember my birthday this year? will i even be getting any presents this year? ok, i said what i wanted, you guys can't get it for me. well, i hope there's at least someone out there praying for me. i guess this year i'm spending my birthday with my cell too. chalet ma. haha.. anyway, yien and jiahui(chui)'s birthday is just after mine. haha.. and michelle's just a few days after, and 小妹's is 10 days after mine. many birthdays in june. today is my another very close cousin's birthday too. 表姐，生日快乐! ok. she probably won't see this, but nvm. lol. hmm.. should i stay up to see who's the first to wish me happy birthday? lol. maybe not. haha.. want to sleep early, cos need to wake up early tmr. and.. i don't want to get disappointed. =X

some nice photos to share

well, but they're not from me. haha.. i'm not so good. i like browsing wedding photo albums. haha.. and this is a good one i came across. been some time since i went around browsing through wedding albums! check out this link! it's very nice! a wedding at the beach! woots!

and of course, not forgetting the wedding photographer i like most. i've long decided to engage this guy for my wedding next time. hahaha.. the links to his site and blog are at the left side of my blog. check out his company site - LightedPixels.

a story of luggages

there was a man, who was very fond of luggages. he felt that luggages were very good to have, as they are big, and can store all the things that he needs, thereby meeting his needs.

throughout his life, he has seen many luggages, of which, up till now, only 4 did he set his eyes upon. each of the luggages, he loved very much, but the first two, he never got to buy them. the salesman, did not want to sell them to the man. the third one, he loved very much as well. he kept waiting and waiting for a good time to buy the luggage. it was a very good luggage indeed. in fact, it probably was the best he has ever seen thus far. however, in the course of waiting, the man saw another luggage - the fourth luggage. this luggage wasn't very ready for use yet, and required lots of repairs, but the man liked it a lot. he knew that it required lots of repairs, but he saw that it had the potential to meet all his needs. he then decided to buy the luggage and stop waiting for the best opportunity to buy the third luggage. he was prepared to put in the time and effort to try to repair the luggage, and that in due time, it will be the perfect luggage for him. he proceeded to buy the luggage. the salesman didn't reject the offer, and the man got the luggage. the man didn't want to buy a wrong one, so he asked the original manufacturer if there was a guarantee. the original manufacturer replied that yeah there is a guarantee! guarantee that this luggage was the one meant for the man! happily, the man bought the luggage and started to repair it bit by bit. he was very confident of the guarantee that the original manufacturer had given him. the man spent all his efforts trying to repair the luggage, believing very strongly that the luggage was the one meant for him.

however, in due time, despite all the efforts of the man trying to repair the luggage, it seemed that he was getting nowhere. probably he wasn't equipped well enough with the knowledge to do the repairs himself. the luggage fell apart. the man was overwhelmed. he didn't understand why it happened. what did he do wrong? he just wanted to help to repair the luggage. he asked the original manufacturer, why did it happen? wasn't it supposed to be a guarantee? a guarantee that the luggage was meant for him? then how come it fell apart in his hands? the man questioned the validity of the guarantee, but he had total trust in the original manufacturer. he didn't believe that the original manufacturer will lie to him. it then came upon the man that, when he bought the luggage, he already knew that it required lots of repairs. he thought he was capable of performing the repairs, but as things turned out, he was wrong. he knew he had to return the piece of luggage to the original manufacturer for repairs. only the original manufacturer knew how to perform the repairs. the man thought, perhaps he bought the luggage too early.

feeling very dejected over the loss of the luggage, the man still continued to trust in the guarantee that the original manufacturer gave him. he believes that in due time, the original manufacturer will return the completed and perfect luggage back to him. how long, though, he didn't know. the man was tempted to go look around for other luggages, but it seemed no other luggages met his liking. he also knew that it probably isn't the time to be looking around for other luggages at that point of time. the man's friend reminded him of the things he had to do, and that he already has a laptop, a haversack to meet most of his needs.

moving on, the man continued to do what he has to do - his work and stuff. however, he was constantly thinking about the luggage. he misses the luggage very much. how long will he have to wait? or maybe, one day, the original manufacturer will give him another luggage, an even better one that suits him perfectly? he is so tired of waiting again. sometimes he wishes that his fondness of the luggage will just go away. whatever it is, there isn't much the man can do, except to wait, whether is it the piece of luggage that he's waiting for, or another piece that the original manufacturer has for him.

so moving on the man did, and waiting, and thinking of the luggage from time to time. he believes that the piece of luggage is in proper care under the hands of the original manufacturer. he can only believe in the original manufacturer, that in due time, the original manufacturer will provide the most suitable piece of luggage.

just.. blogging..

well, just felt like blogging, so here i am. hmm.. the past week.. alright la. was busy studying for my CISA exam the last Sat. the questions are really tricky, so i really don't know how i'll fare. but i'm leaving the results to God. i did my best, at least i think i did give it my best shot already. and thank God i was able to study the few days before the exam. haha..

hmm.. my birthday is nearing. well, nobody seems to care much. oh well, i don't really think much bout it also. there doesn't seem to be anything worth celebrating this year? lol. starting my cell chalet this fri, which happens to be my birthday also. i wonder if they're planning a surprise for me. actually, i'd rather not have any surprise. just leave it as it is, like any normal day. my birthday, doesn't hold much meaning to me anymore, at least for now. no need for any presents. prayers and blessings in the name of the Lord will be the best present. i just wish to go back to God, renew my relationship with Him. :)

ah, i'd like to mention last sat's cell. we did a sharing on our character, as well as our perspective of others' character. Joi, who joined us for the first time, gave a good analysis of each of us. haha.. she's good at looking at people. lol. she said i'm someone who understands myself, cos i think a lot. well yeah i do think a lot. haha.. much more than i should on some issues. lol. yeah, i thought, actually i don't really understand myself. cos the more i think, the more i try to dig inside myself, the more i realise that needs to be discovered. and the past month, i really dug inside myself, and i begin to understand myself better. i'm starting to see why i'm the way i am now. and i start to see that, things that happen during childhood, it brings such a great effect on us, up to the day we die. i saw how my childhood could have caused me to be the way i am now, affecting me in almost every way.. the way i handle relationships, handle friendships, the way i serve.. and these effects affect me subconsciously. i didn't even know why i am like that in the past. i don't know what exactly happened in my childhood. i can't remember the first few years of my life. i wonder if it's because it's so bad, my mind automatically put it aside, hid the memories in a corner to protect myself. this is some psychological theory i heard about last time. maybe it's time to dig up the past. hmm.. but i wonder if i'm prepared to face my past? to face myself? i don't wish for the hurts in my childhood, the lack of love in my childhood, to restrict me to enjoy the freedom God intended for me, to stop me from becoming the man God wants me to become. i want the freedom in Jesus. but i know, i have to face my fears, face the problems i have, and hand them over to Jesus, to be able to break free from all the bondages...

God, may You grant me the strength to face myself, to face my problems, to face my fears, and to truly hand them over to You. I want to experience the freedom in You. Help me to understand myself better, and to understand Your plan for me. Hold me close to You. I never want to stray from Your ways. Lord, give me courage. Give me courage to deal with whatever is in me. I don't want to run away from it. Running away doesn't solve the problem at all. I want to face it, and overcome it, with You by my side! I want to break free from all the bondages in my life! I proclaim in Jesus' name that I will lead a life of freedom, of abundance, in my Lord Jesus Christ! Hallelujah!! In Jesus' name I pray. Amen!!

oh my!! i'm downgraded!!

oh my goodness. last sat, i went for a run, timing myself on my 2.4km timing, cos i thought i needed to clear my IPPT. erm.. my timing is fail de la. lol. but i at least need to attempt once before my IPPT window closes, which is on my birthday(less than two weeks). so i tried to go into the system to book a date, but can't. i always wondered how come always cannot. i never was successful, even months ago when i tried. so i sent an email to the helpdesk or something. then they just called me back. i can't go in the system to book, cos i'm excused from IPPT. i'm PERMANENTLY DOWNGRADED TO PES C2. woohoo! lols. no need to worry bout clearing IPPT anymore. wow! haha.. and i was downgraded since 12th June last year. going to one year liao then i know bout it. -_-"

i went for a medical review last year April la, but i never knew what was the result of that review. ya, so now i know, i've been downgraded! wahaha.. but i was never informed of it also leh.. lols. but quite glad i no need to clear la. one thing less to worry about. lol. God is good! hahaha.. i still remember last year i go see the MO, he said, cos i'm still quite young, so it's hard for me to get downgraded. i was like.. huh!? what has it got to do with age? it's my ankle having problems leh.. ya i'm young, but it's still a fact that my ankle and my knee joints are having problems lo. lol. so i was downgraded. wahaha..

ya.. so.. my birthday is coming. lol. i wonder if i'll be getting any presents this year. maybe i should put up a wishlist too? lol. nah.. my biggest wish, nobody can give to me anyway. and for that matter, i guess most of my deepest wishes, nobody can fulfil also. they're not things that money can buy. well, you can help me fulfil them by praying for me though. hahaha.. pray that God will fulfil my wishes!! hee.. :D

James 1:2-4

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Thank you sister. :)

Graduated

yeah i've graduated. after.. *calculates*.. bout 17 years of study, i've finally graduated with a degree, the piece of paper that required 17 years of study. haha.. thank God for His divine protection and guidance these 17 years. it's really a miracle i made through these 17 years, especially some of the years in between. haha.. and thank God, i got a B+ for my FYP! yeah, so i got a second lower honours. well, it's nothing at all la. it's just plain average, but thank God at least i didn't get a third class honours. i think third class honours = useless. lol. yeah i'm a graduate. woohoo. ok.. i'm not exactly excited. haha.. but i'm just glad it's over. hmm.. i guess i not going to the convocation. not close to my classmates, so it feels quite pointless, like celebrating.. alone. so.. forget it. i'll use the time to do other stuff. haha.

to those out there still studying, don't give up! keep on going! study hard! at the end when you've graduated, you'll know that all the effort you've put in is worth it. haha.. don't leave behind regrets that you haven't worked hard enough. for those taking 'O' levels and 'A' levels this year, jiayou!! it's a major exam, but no worries! just work hard and put in your best! there're still a few months to work hard! keep the end in mind, the day you get your results. do you want to be happy? work hard, and you will be. heh. jiayou!!!!!

Lord Father, I lift up the students in EnCom to You, especially my 小妹, and Qiqin. They are taking their 'O' and 'A' level exams this year. May Your guidance be upon them, Your wisdom, Your intelligence, abound in them. Help them be able to focus on their studies, to concentrate in their studies. I cast out all the distractions in Jesus' name! Be it excessive television, games, entertainment, I cast them out in Jesus' name. Lord, help them to be ever more serious in their studies, that they truly want to do well, not just for themselves, but to bring glory and honour to Your name as well. Guide them that they will not leave behind any regrets for not having worked hard enough. Lord, Your anoiting be upon them. Bless them like how You have blessed me in my studies, and even more! Thirty-fold! Sixty-fold! Hundred-fold! Hallelujah! Bless them such that when they study, they understand what they're studying, and can commit to their memories all the formulae, the principles, all the knowledge they need to remember. In Jesus' name, I proclaim that 水婷 and Qiqin will get excellent grades in their exams! Straight As! Your grace abound! Your Spirit of diligence empower them! Bless them so greatly that their friends and classmates will get blessed too! Bless Eunice too! I thank You Jesus! In Jesus' name I pray! Amen!!