am i able to help..?

read some blogs.. it seems some pple around me aren't doing too well? hmm.. i ain't doing too well myself too, but they are pple who are close to me, who are important to me, and i really wish that i'll be able to help them. but, how am i going to help them when, i myself can't even help myself? i guess i must really be strong. i shall always remind myself from now, that i'll be strong. so that i can help others. help those who i hold dear to. always be there for them. yeah i'll be strong. and i have to get strong fast, get up fast.

be strong my dear brother and sister. i'll be your mentor if you need one. ehh.. but just wait a bit ya? i'll find a way to get up real soon..

Refiner's fire...

reading the book, Bait of Satan, by John Bevere.. in the first chapter, the author relates..

There was a time in my life when I went through intense trials such as I had never faced before. I became rude and harsh with those closest to me. My family and friends began to avoid me.

I cried out to the Lord, "Where is all this anger coming from? It wasn't here before!"

The Lord responded, "Son, it is when they liquefy gold in fire that the impurities show up." He then asked a question that changed my life. "Can you see the impurities in gold before it is put in the fire?"

"No," I answered.

"But that doesn't mean they were not there," He said. "When the fire of trials hit you, these impurities surfaced. Though hidden to you , they were always visible to Me. So now you have a choice that will determine your future. You can remain angry, blaming your wife, friends, pastor, and the people you work with, or you can see this dross of sin for what it is and repent, receive forgiveness, and I will take My ladle and remove these impurities from your life."

i guess.. the fire of trials is hitting me? so many things that i didn't know was there in my life surfaced? so many things.. so many ugly things..

Lord, will You please take Your ladle and remove the impurities from my life? I don't want to stay on like this. Renew me Lord, by Your grace given to me upon the Cross. Transform me by Your love. Give me strength to do what I need to do Lord, for You are my Strength. Help me to endure through this period of refining, Lord. Grant me strength to push through no matter how hard it is Lord. I really need You. There is no one, nothing in the world that can save me other than You. Save me Lord! In Jesus' name. Amen...

I passed my CISA exam!

woohoo! praise God! i passed my CISA exam!! wahaha.. thank God! He's always blessed me sooo greatly in my studies, or in any exams i take. God is super good to me! throughout my whole life, i never really had problems with exams. PSLE, 'O' levels, 'A' levels, university, even my driving exam ( i passed first time with 18 points! any more points and i fail! haha), and now my CISA exam too! lol. i did work hard la, though it was just a week before the exam. haha.. the textbook i read, the questions database i got, all says need to prepare like months before the exam lo. so that time when i started really studying a week before, was bit kanjiong. lol. i got study early la, but not a lot. lol. so really must thank God. heeh.. thanks eunice for your encouragements back then! :D

oh, and something to share with you all also. was reading this in my mail just now..

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"Many things are opened by mistake, but none so frequently as the mouth. The results can be revealing."

A man sat down to supper with his family. As usual, he said grace, thanking God for the food, for the hands that prepared it, and for the source of all life.

As the meal proceeded, the man began to complain. The bread was not fresh enough, he grumbled. The cheese was too sharp. And the coffee was hotter and more bitter than he preferred.

After a while, his young daughter looked at him, perplexed. "Dad," she asked, "do you think God heard the grace today?" He answered confidently, "Of course."

Then she asked, "And do you think God heard what you said about the coffee, the cheese, and the bread?" Not so confidently, he answered, "Why, yes, I believe so." The little girl concluded, "Then which do you think God believed, Dad?"

The man usually had a quick response to any question his daughter asked. Now, he sat in stunned silence. The man realized that his mealtime prayer had become a well-practiced habit in which he said words that made him look and feel good. He also saw how his real attitude, as revealed by the spontaneous words in his complaints, was not what he wanted, or even liked.

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yeah. have you thanked God for the food, then the next minute, complain bout it? haha.. but it's the quote that i like very much. many things are opened by mistake, but none so frequently as the mouth. haha.. very true. that's wisdom.

what superhero power?

today went TP to meet liyao and work. then while working there, a guy came up and asked us to help do a survey. don't really know what the survey is for la, but anyway, one of the questions asked which superhero power will we choose if we could have it. something like that la. forgot what the options were. think got these: can fly, see into the future, time-travel, invisibility, change form (i guess meaning morphing into different appearances or things?). ya i think is these five. haha..

i chose time-travel. if i could, i wish to go back in time and change some of the decisions i made, change some of the ways i do things. there are things i regret in life, though i keep telling myself, everything that happened, did so for a purpose, and a good purpose. God says so in Romans 8:28. but then, i still wished that i hadn't done some of the things i did, made some of the decisions i made. so that's why i chose time-travel. to go back and undo things? hmm.. but then again, even if i went back in time, will i be able to convince the old me to really do things how i see it now? i'm really stubborn at some things you know. maybe the things happened, and God let them happen, cos God knows that it'd be the only way that i'll learn? the hard way. and what if, things get worse if i made a different decision back then? haha.. nobody knows eh. and i will never know too. if you could choose which superhero ability, which will you choose? why?

oh, and i realise, sometimes, what suddenly comes to my mind, can be very accurate. lol. like today, when going home, walked by tampines interchange area, and i was just thinking, maybe i'll bump into wanyi. and woala! i really bumped into her! lol! that time cell chalet, while i was playing the guitar, suddenly i thought if the string is going to break, and within minutes, one of the string broke! haha.. actually i got many of such experiences. superhero power to see into the future? nah! haha.. but i'm thinking if.. have i gotten more sensitive spiritually? to the things the Holy Spirit is telling me? i really wish to be more sensitive to the Spirit, to hear what God is trying to say to me. i wish to know God more, know His plan, His will. i want to be so close to Jesus, i can converse with Him. i really wish to love You so much more! more than anything else! i want to! and i'm trying to work to grow in my love for You!

live for the future

today after the service at renewal church (my church undergoing renovation), went to have lunch with sunmei, liyao and shilong at bugis, then go orchard. wanted to go tangs to get a couple of shirts for business purpose, but all the shirts there were too ex. haha.. i got some vouchers to use you see, so had to go tangs. in the end, didn't get any shirt, but got myself a pair of shoes instead. lol. man, i can't really remember the last time i bought a pair of shoes for myself. i don't consider those that i got free from NS la. haha.. i think the last time i bought a pair of shoes for myself, was when i still in JC, which means, at least 6 years ago!? lols. got a pair of nike shoes, $125. lol.

then after that, go walk walk, wanted to find a cafe sit down chill out, then i randomly suggested want to watch movie or not. sunmei say ok, then ask liyao and shilong, they like so enthu. lol. so we went to watch hancock. yeah it's not bad. quite nice. quite funny also, at some parts. it brought to my mind once again, how important acceptance by others is. without acceptance from others, one is like so alone, so lonely. then after the movie, went around walking, see see look look. haha.. liyao and shilong seemed pretty bored though, while we at far east there. i go see see with sunmei, then liyao and shilong just outside waiting for us. lol. like out bodyguards like that. hahaha..

then while walking home from the mrt station, was praying and thinking bout some stuff, and suddenly this thought came to me. live for the future. hmm.. yeah i realise i've been living so much in the past. that's why i'm not having any breakthroughs? must stop living in the past anymore! must live in the present, and live for the future!! yeah!! live for the future!! and not just any future, but the future that God has planned for me!! must work hard for the future!! Hallelujah!! thanks be to God, for putting such a thought to me. must remind myself, live for the future!! help to remind me also ya? heeh.

oh, and tmr is lingling's birthday! Happy Birthday Lingling!! May God rain down His blessings on you more each day, that you can be an even greater blessing to others!! i'm really thankful for this sister. she's wonderful. she's been such a blessing from God to me. i wish to be able to bless others in the ways she'd blessed me. :)