working + insufficient sleep..

makes me think weird things. i think i'm too too too tired at work. i start to think how nice it'll be if i had a girlfriend and i can meet her and just go for a stroll in the park after work, or just lie down somewhere on the beach and look at the starry nightsky. lol. on tuesday at the prayer meeting, i had a vision of myself lying down on a vast grassland, looking up at the sky, which was full of stars. though i was alone, i could feel the Lord with me, and i felt so peaceful, so joyful, that i had time with God alone, looking up upon the stars, His beautiful creation. the feeling of being with someone you love very much.. yeah it's something like that. wow it felt so good. yeah i was thinking how nice if i can be with the people i love, too, looking up upon the stars... well actually it doesn't have to be my girlfriend. i don't have one anyway. my good brothers or sisters, or my good buddies. i'm learning not to take things for granted. treasure every moment i have with the people i care for.

hmm.. though i was thinking pretty much of these weird stuff, i realised i've come to let go of some of my feelings. when i mentioned girlfriend, i wasn't thinking of her. it was someone God has prepared for me, but who, i don't know. i feel that i'm finally able to truly submit my feelings to God. it doesn't matter if i cannot be with the person i like anymore. i know God has His timing, and i can truly say amen in my heart. somehow, i think the person i like now.. probably is not the one for me. i don't know. maybe my feelings for her are not that strong anymore, and i think that's a good thing, for her and for me. i just wonder who He has in store for me. i think it's gonna be so exciting when i meet her, and knowing that she is the one. wow, i can't wait for that day... haha..

so tired..

i'm seriously stretched out. i need sleep. i need rest. i'm falling sick already. this week was too tiring. with my attachment started, it's really tough having to cope with so many church commitments. monday after work, met up with valen and feli to do BS with them. the first day of work was already a killer, with me not having enough sleep, and having to read lots and lots of documents. on the way to meeting them, i felt so uncomfortable. i felt i was running a fever, and i was so so so tired. i thought of calling the BS off, but, nah.. it had dragged on for too long. keep dragging and it won't even start off. but i'm glad i continued with it. while waiting for them, i prayed for God to give me the strength, and i believed that i'll feel better once i started the BS with them. and God is so good! after the BS with them, i felt so much better!!

tuesday after work, headed to church for prayer meeting. well, another tiring day. wednesday was better. went home after work. spent my time looking on the web for information i can use for organising youth camp. basically, that took my whole night, and sending out emails and stuff. yesterday, had bible class on the book of Philemon. i was too tired to take in everything pastor had to say. think i only absorbed 20% of the whole lesson? that's bad. and for the whole week, i was so tired at work. insufficient sleep is way too much for me. there's so so so much to do. youth camp, church camp, cell, discipleship 418 ministry, worship... i seriously think i'm taking on too much at the moment.

while trying to arrange to meet up with valen and feli, i realised that i have too many things on my hands. almost everyday i'm packed with things to do. and with my attachment, i think i seriously need to put down some stuff. there's only so much i can do. how i wish more people would rise up in church to be taking the initiative. there's so much to do, but only the few people are doing all the things in church. there's only so much huihui can do too. but it seems not many people bother to help out. i want to spend more time on my cell, but with 418 commitments, worship commitments, other church commitments, i can hardly squeeze out the time. i'm not even talking nor thinking about my studies anymore. but though all these commitments are so tiring and taking so much of my time and effort, i really enjoy them. i can be so tired doing other things, but when i meet my cell, meet my brothers and sisters, i just feel energized!! maybe this is what God calls me to do... serving people.

tmr is my cell's outing. i just hope God will make it a good one. chek's too busy to plan much. i wonder what he's busy with too. i hope he's busy making a difference in people's lives. i'm so tired too. i just wanna go and relax at the outing, but i guess i cannot. probably nobody's gonna be taking the lead, except wait for me to make the decisions and all. chek won't be at the outing too. i think i must start delegating more jobs to my interns, or rather, to the whole cell. but with how chek is so busy with his own stuff, i wonder how many people in my cell are actually willing to take up more responsibilities. God, raise up more people who are willing to serve!!!

no breakdance today

just now went esplanade there to look for the bboys, but they weren't there. =( we were lucky though, got a guy practicing his bike stunts, and so we approached him and asked him if he knew when the bboys'll be around. well apparently the bboys normally go there on fri and sat evenings, and sometimes on sunday afternoons. man, weekends.. busy busy. not sure if can have the time to go join the bboys frequently not.

in the afternoon went to my aunt's house, and i was packing some of my stuff that i still left there when i was living there from sec 4 - JC2. all the yearbooks brings back lots of memories. haha.. AHS, TPJC.. the class photos and all. wow, how time flies. it's been 6+ years since i grad from AHS, and 4+ years since TPJC. ohh.. memories...

and when i was looking through my notes, tutorials and all, i found my JC2 common test one results. i had two Fs. lol. f maths and computing. the other subjects weren't good too. then i was telling my bro, that piece of paper may help to boost jiayi, yujie and qiqin's morale a little. though year 2 common test results so crap and lousy, 'A' levels can still get decent results one. haha.. must show it to them someday. lol.

yeah so now i have all my jc physics and maths notes back. i threw away all the tutorials though. i didn't really do much of the tutorials back then anyway. =X yeah these notes can help me refresh my mind on what i've learnt 4+ years ago, then can go help jiayi, yujie and qiqin with their studies le. they are studying, and so am i!! then i was looking through my math notes on summation of finite series, cos on sat qiqin asked me a question on that but i forgot how to do. so i looked through the notes, but cannot seem to find the formula or how to do that type of question. but at the end of the notes, got a part which goes something like "solving by partial fraction", and the example question was similar to the type qiqin asked me. heh, so now i know how to solve the question liao. but still got a slight problem though, for the example, i didn't copy the solution(i was most probably sleeping during lectures, or i just didn't bother to copy down. that's why my notes are always so clean and new. =X), and i forgot how to do partial fractions too. bah.. i'll just need to revise everything...

God is VERY GOOD!!

God is amazing. He knows what we are thinking, and even before we pray for our needs, He has already granted our requests!! just now after badminton, when taking bus home, was just thinking bout how to settle my insurance bill, which will be deducted from my account tmr, and i thought there wasn't sufficient funds inside. then i was just thinking if wenyan will transfer the money from buying my camera today not, then i just received a sms from her that she has transferred the money!! woot!! but just now i check online, actually my mum has already transferred my pocket money le, so actually is got enough money la. haha.. but it's amazing how God knows our needs. =)

well, i was saying bout badminton just now. other than wanyi, weiquan and sin yee joined us too!! wow, cool right. hahaha.. and the more amazing thing is that is weiquan who came to ask me bout joining us for badminton!! hahaha.. so happy seeing two of my bestest friends/buddies having fellowship with my church friends. God is good! hope to see my friends in church soon. hahahah...

ok i want to learn rock climbing too

ok, due to popular demand(popular = 1 person), i shall learn rock climbing too. wahaha.. hmm rock climbing.. sounds fun too. but for now, dun have the "chiong" factor to learn yet. haha.. but if got opportunity to learn, why not? if la, duno if opportunity will pop up not. lol. hmmm.. to think of it, i got quite a few friends who've been into rock climbing before. rock climbing... think very physically demanding leh.. hahaha...

ahh.. only one week of holiday where i am free to do anything i want. what shall i do first? hmm hmm...

exams is over!!

yay! exams over!! not that it makes much difference to me, but now that exams are over, got more freedom to do the things i want to do! wahahha.. yeah time to go learn bboying. break break break!!! woot!! not much time though. attachment starts on the 14th May. less than two weeks. hope my evenings will be free to go learn break break!! wahahha..

must make full use of this "holidays". got attachment, quite spoiler. lol. hmmm.. i want to do so much stuff. other than learning to breakdance, i want go kayaking too! anyone got lobang for certification? wonder if can find enough pple in church who are interested to go for the certification not.. hmmm... yeah and i wanna get fit! go swimming, gymming, badminton, basketball, whatever!! read many many books also. power up my knowledge!! go master web design also, if i can. do bible study with my cell pple too. and i wanna meet up with my friends!! and hopefully get some of them to go church see see look look. wahhaha..

God, thank you for everything! life is so good!!