so tired..

i'm seriously stretched out. i need sleep. i need rest. i'm falling sick already. this week was too tiring. with my attachment started, it's really tough having to cope with so many church commitments. monday after work, met up with valen and feli to do BS with them. the first day of work was already a killer, with me not having enough sleep, and having to read lots and lots of documents. on the way to meeting them, i felt so uncomfortable. i felt i was running a fever, and i was so so so tired. i thought of calling the BS off, but, nah.. it had dragged on for too long. keep dragging and it won't even start off. but i'm glad i continued with it. while waiting for them, i prayed for God to give me the strength, and i believed that i'll feel better once i started the BS with them. and God is so good! after the BS with them, i felt so much better!!

tuesday after work, headed to church for prayer meeting. well, another tiring day. wednesday was better. went home after work. spent my time looking on the web for information i can use for organising youth camp. basically, that took my whole night, and sending out emails and stuff. yesterday, had bible class on the book of Philemon. i was too tired to take in everything pastor had to say. think i only absorbed 20% of the whole lesson? that's bad. and for the whole week, i was so tired at work. insufficient sleep is way too much for me. there's so so so much to do. youth camp, church camp, cell, discipleship 418 ministry, worship... i seriously think i'm taking on too much at the moment.

while trying to arrange to meet up with valen and feli, i realised that i have too many things on my hands. almost everyday i'm packed with things to do. and with my attachment, i think i seriously need to put down some stuff. there's only so much i can do. how i wish more people would rise up in church to be taking the initiative. there's so much to do, but only the few people are doing all the things in church. there's only so much huihui can do too. but it seems not many people bother to help out. i want to spend more time on my cell, but with 418 commitments, worship commitments, other church commitments, i can hardly squeeze out the time. i'm not even talking nor thinking about my studies anymore. but though all these commitments are so tiring and taking so much of my time and effort, i really enjoy them. i can be so tired doing other things, but when i meet my cell, meet my brothers and sisters, i just feel energized!! maybe this is what God calls me to do... serving people.

tmr is my cell's outing. i just hope God will make it a good one. chek's too busy to plan much. i wonder what he's busy with too. i hope he's busy making a difference in people's lives. i'm so tired too. i just wanna go and relax at the outing, but i guess i cannot. probably nobody's gonna be taking the lead, except wait for me to make the decisions and all. chek won't be at the outing too. i think i must start delegating more jobs to my interns, or rather, to the whole cell. but with how chek is so busy with his own stuff, i wonder how many people in my cell are actually willing to take up more responsibilities. God, raise up more people who are willing to serve!!!