living dead..

i thought such things happens in tv serials, in movies.. never would i thought that one day, it will happen to me.. the feeling of being betrayed? by someone i trusted so much. by those i hold dearest to? why did it have to be like this? and to think, i'm the idiot who didn't know anything again.. the idiot who was ignorant of the truth.. i suddenly, don't know what to feel anymore? what am i going to do now? i thought, is it possible things get worse? hell yeah it did. worse than i can imagine..

Lord, help me. I know You are the only One who can help me. Help me not to take offense, no matter how hurting, or how painful it is. Teach me to forgive as You forgiven me. I'm at my end. It's just You now. So, take over my life won't You? This wretched life? Teach me to live by Your grace. the life Jesus gave His life for, guide me to live in it. help me to trust in You. give me strength to endure. let not my mind go insane. thank You.. In Jesus' mighty name i pray. Amen.