Abba Father...

Lord, I know that You will not give me something beyond my capability. You will not give me something more than I can bear. I'm so confused. I'm so lost. I'm so tired. SO SO TIRED! I'm so drained of every ounce of mental strength! But still, You saw that I can still take it? You see me as so great? To be able to bear all of this!? Is it that You want to use me, that You're breaking me like this?? To such extents!?!? Yes Lord, I really want to live my life for You, do Your will, but all of this is too much??? I'm on the nerve of breaking down Lord!! Won't You take this away from me!?!?!?!

But Lord, let Your will be done, not my will. If You think I can bear this, then I believe I can. If you think I can withstand all this, and even more, then I believe I can. If You wish to tear me down totally, and rebuild everything, that I may be able to glorify You, though how painful it may be, Your will be done. If this is what it takes to follow Jesus, give me the strength, determination and perseverance to continue on. Lord, just don't ever let me leave You or stray away from You or Your Word. Hold me so closely and tightly to You, like the belt to the waist. If this is to help me understand what Jesus went through, betrayal by His closest, abandonment by all, then I will go through it. Keep my heart from evil or my own sinful desires. If You think I can, then I can! Let this not just be a prayer, or words from my mouth, but resonating deep inside me, believing in Your every promise. Thank You Jesus.

In Jesus' name. Amen.