it was good.. wasn't it..?

things sure don't turn out the way we want, or expect it to, so often huh. well, i never regretted my decision. it was good. i learnt a lot. i hope you did too. it probably isn't going to be easy for me to walk out of this, but i will. no matter how much it hurts, i know God meant it for good, and i will still praise Him.

i cried my heart out to You, Lord. in my pain, i cried out to You, with tears flowing down my cheeks. i cried many times today.. but at least it helped me release my emotions inside me. i know i have to go on. i will hold on strongly to what You told me, Lord. never will i let go of it. what you have shown me, keeps my hopes strong, and i know my wait will not be in vain. it may be a long wait, and along the way, there probably are many more struggles, but i don't want to give up, and i never want to lose the faith in what You have shown me. Lord i thank You for all these. it was a good time. i'd done everything i could, put in everything i can. i don't think there was anything more i could have done? though it still turned out this way, so suddenly, i never blamed anyone. perhaps it was, just too early. but it's ok. i'll just wait it out then. how many years, i don't know. but i know my hope is always alive in You.

i'm flying off in a few hours. seriously, i'd hate to go overseas at this time. overseas, there isn't anyone i can really talk to, and it feels really lonely at times. it can feel so vulnerable. with my heart still aching, i don't know how am i going to take it. but i know God is with me. He will tide me through. Thank You Father. and after all this, i'm glad to know, things have merely gone back to how it has been in the past, before it all began. it'll be just as good. i just need the wisdom to do it even better.

thank you for everything. everything i did, was for the good and benefit of you. i'm really glad and happy to see that you have grown more mature, in many aspects. i'll be there to help you blossom beautifully. always. =)