still pain.. but..

i really feel miserable. i can go eat lots of good food, but it doesn't make me happy at all, cos deep inside, the wound is still bleeding..

i'm really sorry. i'll watch what i say more. if i'm tired i won't say anything, or i may say the wrong things and hurt you again. though it is a misunderstanding, i know it hurt you really deep. i know i can explain, but the hurt is already done, and probably no amount of explanation will completely heal the wound. i'm sorry. please forgive me..

i was thinking of you the whole day. thank God i still managed to finish what i have to do at work today. i kept praying and praying. though it still hurts, but i know if my life was without you now, it hurts even more.. at first it felt like all my dreams with you were shattered. i keep telling myself it's not. i can still make the dreams come true. the dreams with you.. and i will continue to work hard to make them come true. i'll force myself to accept whatever comes. the day i can't accept anymore, probably will be the day i leave this world. i probably won't have the strength to live on if that day really comes. but i know that day will never come, cos i will never give up. i'll love you so much, you won't have a chance to leave me. how bout that? well.. i'm already loving you with all i have.. and that's just what i'm going to continue to do. love you with all i have, and love God with all i have. He and you, are the only ones i live for now...

Lord Father, despite all the things that happened, I give You praise. I know You are in control of it all. I know these hurt is only temporary. I know what lies in the future, the plan You have for us, is more than we can ever imagine. I know it is Your will for us. May You reign in our lives. We hand over all our problems to you, cos You are the Lord and King of our lives. Without You, we wouldn't even have had anything to begin with. I thank You for what You've given me, and the person You've brought into my life. Truly, through this person, You have given me the dreams i never dared dream of. Through this person, You have given me the joy and happiness i could only dream of. I cherish these that You've given me. I love You, Dad. In Jesus' name. Amen.