torn apart

man i'm thinking too much. how come when i have exams, it's so often that my emotional problems arise!? like my 'O's that time also. ughh..

hmm my heart is really torn apart. i don't know what to do. i don't understand how things are like this. how do i manage my current situation? managing relationships are so complex, cos it's not a one-sided thing. it takes two to build a relationship. it all seems to be one-sided from my side now. i wonder if anything'll come out of either. managing one deep relationship is already so hard, can i really take on another? must i really give up one to take up the other? it's so hard to let go. so so so hard for me.

Lord i know You've heard my prayers. i sort of know what You want, but i want to be sure. give me confirmations, Father. perhaps You want me to learn to let go of what is dearest to me, and know that You're in control, like how You tested Abraham's faith when You told him to offer up his son Isaac to You. strengthen my faith, Father. Lord, grant me the peace in You. the matters of my heart, i want to cast them all at Your feet, and leave them all to You. i just want to learn to rejoice in You! Holy Spirit, fill me, and constantly remind me to do all things for You and You alone! seek not anyone's favour, but Yours, Father. i really need You. i really need Your help and guidance. Help me, Father. Thank You. In Jesus' name i pray. Amen.