so.. it's really about trust...

wow it's my third post in.. duno how many hours. i guess a lot is going through my mind now... here's my thoughts now..

trust. what does it really take to gain someone's trust? i don't really know anymore. after all the time i've spent, i really thought i've gained the trust, but now i know, i haven't. though i truly care about you, all the things i do is all for your good, you probably don't see why you should trust me totally. well, quite sad at this realisation, but.. oh well.. i have to accept it. i just hope and pray, one day, you'll understand, just like what Zhuguo ge said to me. this love i had for you, for others too, i never understood why. Zhuguo ge says it's like the love between David and Jonathan.

"I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women." - 2 Samuel 1:26

the difference is that, the love between David and Jonathan, it's shared, and how beautiful such a love they shared. i wonder if we can share the love David and Jonathan did. i wonder if i'll find my David(i'm also named Jonathan, by the way).

God, i pray, that You'll bring David into my life. sorry i'm greedy, but i pray for many Davids. but then again, i don't know if i can endure the torment to go through the process to find even one David in my life. Lord i just pray, You'll take charge, of all my emotions, my feelings, my thoughts. just do what You deem best for me, like You've always done, and for me to follow in Your path. Thank You Father, in Jesus' name i pray. Amen.